Young season, old Ozzie

And now, Chicago, here's your 2008 White Sox manager, Ozzie Gui--.

Oops. He gone!

Just 16 outs into the first home game of the season, a revved-up, trash-mouthed Ozzie Guillen was sent to the showers by plate umpire Phil Cuzzi.

So where was Ozzie when Joe Crede launched a dramatic grand slam over the left-field fence in the seventh inning to give the Sox a come-from-behind 7-4 win over the visiting Minnesota Twins?

''On the computer,'' he said afterward. ''That's where I was, sending a text message to Major League Baseball.''

No, no, no.

He was just kidding.

''I was watching the game,'' he corrected. ''We have so many TVs in the clubhouse.''

Let's get serious here, Skip. Ever been thrown out of a game this early in the season?

Guillen, walking with son Ozzie Jr. in the tunnel under U.S. Cellular Field, pondered this briefly.

''I don't think I have.''

Never in April?

''I don't know. Don't think so.''

So getting tossed with one out in the third inning was a special and speedy treat for your players and fans, correcto?

''It looked good because we won,'' said Guillen, who is just as profane, just as feisty, just as ditzy, just as ... Ozzie ... as ever. ''But if we lost, it wouldn't have looked so good, would it?''

No, sure wouldn't.

Yet here are the Sox, folks, already the owners of a five-game winning streak after just seven games.

The Sox didn't win five in a row all last year.

Guillen, who has said he thinks he and his team basically took 2007 off, has vowed to be more intensely ... Ozzie than ever this season.

We can debate a long time what that means, but let us start by noting -- if this ejection less than an hour into the first homestand signifies a firestorm in the belly -- that being more Ozzie means a more passionate team.

'I gotta do this for my guys'

The 44-year-old Guillen, whose teams have finished second, first, third and fourth in his four years at the helm, knows he needs to prove something this year.

General manager Ken Williams has spent a fortune on this lineup, putting the Sox in the top five in payroll, ahead of even the hated Cubs, and results are expected.

Guillen started barking at Cuzzi as the umpire was calling strike one and then strike two on Paul Konerko, and you could see the tornado building.

Konerko had struck out in the first, Jim Thome had struck out leading off the third and now Guillen wasn't taking any more of these alleged bad calls against his fellows. Forget the fact Konerko would strike out swinging after one more pitch. Or that arguing balls and strikes this fast, this early, could mean managerial insanity by August.

''I gotta do these things for my guys,'' Guillen said in the tunnel. ''They believe, you know. And I believe. I don't have any doubts in my mind they will show up every day just like this.''

''He's the guy who really makes us feel at ease out there,'' said Crede, whose 2-for-4, four-RBI day was an indication of the tremendous slugging power on this team.

New center fielder and leadoff man Nick Swisher walked out of the shower and into the locker area, his gold and silver neck chains glistening above his left shoulder and arm tattoos, which resemble starter work for the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

''We're gonna party?'' he said, seeing the media crowd and hearing ''Crank That (Soulja Boy)'' on the sound system. ''All right!''

Swisher is already an Ozzie believer.

''I loved it,'' he said of Guillen's storm-out-of-the-dugout tirade. ''I've always been on the other side seeing Ozzie going a little crazy, but to be on his team, to see him going out there and fighting for us? I loved that.''

It could get expensive

Guillen is still a young guy. Consider that active players Jamie Moyer and Randy Johnson are older than he is.

But the Oz-man's tactics sometimes seem like those of a crafty old vet. Or, of course, a lunatic.

This ejection marked the 13th of his managerial career. He had two in 2004, two in 2005, five in 2006 and three last year.

Let's say the pair his first season were from rookie timidity, and the pair in '05 were because he didn't need to rage since his team would win the World Series. The five in '06 were perhaps out of frustration. And the trio in '07 likely were from boredom.

Who knows where he's headed this year.

''I told the players they are not here for me, I'm here for them,'' Guillen explained. ''If I have to contribute to Major League Baseball a lot of money [in fines], I have $100,000 on the side.''

Ozzie's war chest.

Will it last?

Photo: Tom Cruze, Sun-Times / Ozzie Guillen glances back on his way to the dugout after being ejected from the game. ;